My Name Is Khan... and I cry in every movie

Saw a couple of kids playing a game last night. One kid says a word and the other responds with whatever comes to his mind. One said, "Cricket guru" and the second kid responded, "Sachin Tendulkar".

Now, Rex being Rex, looked at me and mouthed, "miserable fuck - George Bush" (for folks who don't know, that's what Google used to say during the Dark Ages. If you typed miserable failure in Google and clicked on the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button, it used to take you Bush's profile page in the White House website). That's Rex's idea of playing along. Good thing the kids didn't know what George Bush was.

Anyway, it was the second kid's turn and he said "My name is Khan". I got a little too excited and shouted "Shahrukh Khan". I didn't mean to butt in, I swear, but both the kids threw me a nasty stare. Then the first kid looks at me and says, "easy question, I will answer!"

Rex laughed himself silly and then asked, "Would you have said that a couple of years ago? Before the latest movie was conceived." I thought I would have. Shahrukh Khan has always been the crowd favorite.

I only started watching Hindi movies in 1995. It was that year that I saw Sholay, Jo-Jeeta-Wohi-Sikandar, Baazigar, Anand, Baawarchi, Aandhi, Namak-Halal, Don and the other movie where SRK played the psycho piss-ant. But Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Rajesh Khanna were gone by then; Aamir Khan, Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan were the contemporary actors. Our of the three Khans, SRK was the superstar. I knew some girls in class were crazy about him. I was told that they all were.

The charm, Rex explained, was being both sensitive and macho. "That's a rare combination", says Rex. He'd beat up the baddies in one scene and then cry in his mother's lap (or a sweetheart's arms) in another. Here was a guy who wouldn't hold his tears back.

Now, here's the kicker - why doesn't he hold his tears back? I can see how a guy who cries is construed to be sensitive and caring. But is that the only way SRK can portray that he is sensitive and caring? Why does he HAVE to cry in every goddamn movie?

Here is a list of SRK movies I can remember watching:

• Raju-Ban-Gaya-Gentleman
• Baazigar
• Darr
• Karan-Arjun
• Dilwale-Dulhania-Le-Jayenge
• Ram-Jaane
• Trimurti
• Koyla
• Yes-Boss
• Pardes
• Dil-To-Pagal-Hai
• Dil-Se
• Kuch-Kuch-Hota-Hai
• Hey-Ram
• Mohabbatein
• Kabhi-Khushi-Kabhi-Gham
• Devdas
• Kal-Ho-Na-Ho
• Main-Hoon-Na
• Swades
• Chalte-Chalte
• Veer-Zaara
• Chak-De-India
• Rab-Ne-Bana-Di-Jodi

Has he cried in every one of them? Bet your ass he did.

I haven't watched his latest movie "My Name is Khan" and I haven't talked to anyone about it. But I'm willing to bet all of this January's pay that he's going to cry in that movie (minus the vig, of course).

Here's wishing Dingus Khan will learn to portray his sensitive side without crying.